How do Filipinos use these words in a sentence?

1. Tenacious - Bepor you go out, put your tenacious on.
2. Deposit - Call da plahmer, deposit is leaking!
3. Splat - Oh my goodness, my tire splat!
4. Associate - When I went to da bathroom, associate in da toilet so I plashed it.
5. Hostess- When da pone rings, I ask hostess?
6. Beef Stew - My beeper beeps, does yours beef stew?
7. Persuading - This month will be my cousins persuading anniversary.
8. Depressed - Depressed is da one who leads mass on Sundays.
9. Deficit - Bepore eyou jahmp in da pool, check how deficit.
10. Penis - Bepre eyou go out and play, penis your homework!
11. Statue - Oy, Pedro...statue?
12. Uno, Dos, Tres- Uno! dos tres are burning!
13. Candidate - I ordered too much pood, I think I canididate!
14. Chicken Nut Bread - My sister can't swim, when she jahmps in da water chicken nut bread.